Model length /share your current model

[Kendall]

I'm trying to move my 6th grade son into the Homer work. I have read several places to start with models a little longer than an Aesop fable, but Aesop fables vary in length. Is a once page story too short? Some of the Aesop fables are that long but others are half a page or less. Is there a # of pages(Assuming about 12 point type) guideline that could be suggested for the beginning of Homer and the goal at the end?

I used the model Kelly posted from Mother West Wind this week. It was slightly over 2 pages and his retelling was slightly over one. He did okay, I think, but we worked hard at it and didn't have time for very much editing at the word level - using synonyms, better verbs, etc.

We spent some time on clarity issues and quite a bit on the sentence level. I didn't have him add any dialog over what he originally did, and he didn't have time to add description either.

Would it be better to do something shorter and have time for the things we skipped or should we keep working on the longer stories and hope that with practice we will need less time on clarity,sentence and can then spend the time on the word level editing, dialogue, and description?

Thanks in advance,
Kendall

[Lene Mahler Jaqua]

Funny you should ask, Kendall. I am just finalizing the writing project chapters in Homer.

In Homer, our goal is REALLY LONG models... but the kids won't write super long rewrites. They will, fo r the longer models just write summaries.

I do not operate in numbers of pages because pages are misleading depending on margins, font, line spacing and such. When I assess a model I assess it in numbers of words. Usually I find the model on the Internet (and aren't we lucky that t raditional tales which we need for CW are all in the public domain??). I copy the model and then paste it into my word processor, click on tools, then word count, and VOILA I know how long the model is.

My students rewrite their narratives in the word processor too, so they can assess the length of their work compared to the original.

NOW for your question... work your way up slowly to longer models in HOMER: Start with a shorter fable, about 100 words, and work, through the course of the year up to a model of at least 1000 words, preferably about 4000 words (for an older student).

Typically a work like the the Famous Men of Greece tales are about 1000 words on the average. Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp (the original) is 40,000 words, and CInderella and SNow White are about 4000 words.

Do not work with a larger model than your child can handle. It is better to go small and get quality work. However, stretch him or her a little, and render the necessary support during the writing of the outline, and see if your student can work up to a long model, 4000 words.

Lene

[Kelly in GA]

My husband jokes around and says that you learn something new every day...unless you're careful!

Anyway, thanks, Lene, for the info on word count in Microsoft Word. That is so neat!!

Kendall, I agree with Lene. And I purposely gave my 10 yo a shorter model last week when we started the "flashback" re-telling (she had just written hers in beginning to end). I used "Jerry Muskrat's Party" with 750 words. Her re-telling was only 237 words. But I thought it was very well done. It was almost too easy for her though.

So this week we used the next Old Mother West Wind chapter "Bobby Coon and Reddy Fox Play Tricks" (1226 words). She complained a little about the length, but so far she is doing well with it (and re-telling in flashback mode). Her re-telling as of right now (due to change from her final since she sped up the last part a little too much) is 465 words.

I hope this is what she should be doing with CW-Homer. I think she would DIE if she had to re-write the story having the same length as the original!!

I am looking forward to CW-Homer coming out so she can continue with other variations.

I plan on using the same length model next week (I was going to use some of the Famous Men of Greece models) and will continue in flashback mode for a couple more weeks. Then...who knows!!

Good luck, Kendall!

Blessings,

Kelly

[Kendall]

Thanks for the ideas/goals about word count. One of my children had turned the word count toolbar on a few weeks ago, so it was easily accesible. The first narrative we did was slightly over 1000.

My son likes the classical writing work we do, but today he was sighing a lot and wanting to do the outline in several sessions throughout the day-word count was only 954. I'm wondering if I should help him with the outline for a few weeks.

Kelly, if you get a chance post one of the flashback retellings I would appreciate reading it. I can't even quite "hear" how that would work in my mind. When I get some spare time (ha!) I will try to write one myself.

Kendall

[Lene Mahler Jaqua]

Here is one flash back story I wrote as an example. It has not been heavily edited, so bear with typos, but this is one possibility:

Final version (628 words, 70% of the original)
Once upon a time, a mother goat came home from shopping in town. She opened the door, looking forward to being greeted by her seven kids. But what a sight met her eyes: The table was turned over on the floor, the bed sheet was half off the floor as if someone had run over the bed and tripped, the oven door was open, the contents of the cupboard were smashed on the floor, and the washing was upset, and a big pool of water was gathered on the floor. Horrified the mother called the names of all her kids, time after time, but no one answered. Finally, the door to the clock case was timidly opened and out came her youngest kid, shivering. The youngest kid told her what had happened:

“You see, mother, before you went out to get some food, you told us to beware of the wolf. You told us he would pretend to be you and try to fool us. And indeed, we resolved to be very careful.

Shortly after you left, the wolf came by the house, pretending to be you. But we were not fooled. His voice was not your sweet soft voice. It was harsh and throaty. We told the wolf that his voice was not the voice of you. And we did not let him in.

The wolf left, and shortly thereafter we heard a knock on the door again. A sweet soft voice pleaded with us to open the door. It sounded like you, mother. We were about to open the door when we saw a big ugly hairy paw in the window. We knew that was the paw of the wolf, because your feet are white, so we refused to open the door again. We told the wolf that we were not fooled, that we knew that our mother had nice white feet, not big dark hairy ones.
A while later there was another knock on the door. We heard a sweet soft voice asking us to open the door and we saw your white foot in the window, so we opened the door.
As soon as the door was opened we saw the big bad wolf with one white paw. I do not know what my brothers and sisters did, I hurried up and hid in the clock case. I heard loud crashes, things being thrown and bumped, and terrified screams. Then I heard the door slam and all was quiet for a long time. I lay here in the clock case till I heard the door open again and your voice calling all of us. I was afraid it was the wolf again, so I lay still.”
Upon hearing this terrible account, the mother, weeping with grief, left the house with her youngest kid. As they came to the meadow, they noticed the wolf snoring under a tree, and what is more, they noticed movement in his stomach. The mother, recognizing that her kids may yet be alive, sent the youngest goat back to the house to fetch scissors, thread, and a needle. At once, upon opening the stomach of the wolf with the scissors, the six little kids sprang out totally unharmed. The wolf in his greed had swallowed them whole.

The mother and the seven goats rejoiced that all were safe and well. Then the kids helped the mother reload the wolf’s stomach with big heavy rocks. The mother sewed the wolf’s stomach shut. When the wolf finally woke up from his deep sleep, he felt that his stomach was very heavy and decided to go to the well to get a drink of water. As he leaned over the edge, he fell in with a mighty scream, and was never heard from again.

[Kelly in GA]

It is on the "share your child's writing project" board.

Blessings,

Kelly